One Victim’s Story, Myth Busting, and Everything You Need to Know About Sexual AssaultBy: Delanie Howell

Sexual assault is an issue that widely affects the population, yet many people don’t know how to confront it or don’t really like to talk about it. According to Matt Atkinson, the Director of Rural Sexual Assault Programs at the Oklahoma Coalition Against Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault, says, “Today most people that look at the statistics say it’s going to be about one of out six” women in the United States who will be a victim during her lifetime. When looking more specifically at college students, Atkinson mentions that “The last study we’ve got on those numbers was from 2007. It was about one out of eight. One out of eight college students, female, in Oklahoma, would experience either a rape or an attempted rape during her time at a university.”

One victim, who wished to remain anonymous, shared her story. She said, “I was a new freshman in college and very eager to pursue the full ‘college experience.’ At a party, I ran into a senior guy who I had briefly met once before. He and I stood there talking, and then he leaned in to kiss me on the cheek. As he led me down the hall to the bedroom, I felt sleepy and loopy. I knew I wasn’t drunk because I had not had that much to drink. As I sat down on the bed, everything was very blurry and muffled. He leaned in to kiss me again, this time on the mouth. I felt so weak that I fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow. I was not asleep for very long and when I opened my eyes, I saw through my blurry vision that he was on top of me. I felt so helpless in that moment because it felt like there was nothing I could do. His strong arms on either side of my body made me feel trapped.” This woman is one of many. After her incident, everything changed. “Everyone treated me differently after that; they thought I was crazy for ‘thinking’ I had been raped. One friend that he and I had in common - a girl who was dating his roommate at the time - called me and came to my dorm room, sat down on my bed, and said, ‘We need to talk. I think that you just need to ask God for forgiveness.”

Atkinson is passionate about busting the myth that most of the time women are simply making it all up. He says “less than 8% of all rape reports turn out to be false. And when you look at the physical pain and embarrassment of a rape kit, a rape exam, when you look at the social stigma they go through, making false reports doesn’t give women some kind of unfair power advantage, it turns their lives upside down. It’s ridiculous.” Atkinson’s wife is a survivor and now is open to sharing her own story with other women to help them understand they are not alone and should not be embarrassed by their own strength and courage in dealing with their experiences.

Kathy Moxley, Director of the Women’s Outreach Center at the University of Oklahoma, also hopes to clear up some of the myths about sexual assault in order to change the way it is perceived. “I think one of the ones our students are most surprised by is that most college rapes are acquaintances, that it’s not a stranger. Most of the time, people are assaulted by someone they know and trust so changing that perception is really important.”

So, this seems like mainly a women’s issue, why should men care about it? Atkinson says this aspect is one that is very personal to him because of the choice he was given when his wife told him about her experience when they were in college. “A lot of guys that I’ve talked to don’t really know how to get engaged in this, they don’t know what they’re role is. But here’s the most important statistic I want men to know: of women who do report their assaults, half of them turn to a male as the first person she’ll go to for trust or help or advice. There’s this amazing opportunity for men to be effective allies and supporters; not controlling, not judgmental, not critical, not know-it-all heroics, but just allies, equals, and supporters. And until we deal with men on the basis of that potential, then we won’t make half the progress we could because half of our population gets left out of the issue.”

The University of Oklahoma Women’s Outreach Center has taken some steps toward improving the issue on our campus. Moxley says the goal of the WOC is “awareness, education, training, and response.” The programs that have been implemented are aimed not only at the female student body, but the males as well. Moxley gave some examples including the White Ribbon Campaign. She said, “The White Ribbon Campaign is men, on our campus, who are considered high visible men, who wear white ribbons and get their pictures taken for a poster. The white ribbon is someone who is standing up against violence against women.” The WOC also does student body education and participates in Rape Awareness Week and Sexual Assault Awareness Month activities, and is currently working to implement a mandatory online education for incoming students, similar to the alcohol education program at OU.

However, there is always more that can be done to help with any issue. Atkinson encourages continued training of law enforcement to deal with sexual assault cases, more political activism, and more programs that allow survivors to come together to share their experiences with people who understand. Moxley believes the thing that will make the most difference is changing the culture on our campus so that it’s not embarrassing for women to come forward and report incidents.

The WOC has a Sexual Assault Response Team that is available 24 hours a day seven days a week to assist students who have been victimized. Moxley said, “We can provide any level of support. If someone just wants to get a referral to counseling, we can do that. But if someone wants a forensic exam, they want to talk to law enforcement, we can be there as well.”

If you or someone you know has been a victim of sexual assault, there is help available. Below are some links to legal resources as well as resources for victims who wish to connect with other survivors taken from a pamphlet called “You Can Take Back Your Power: A Guide to Your Rights After Rape.”

Oklahoma Safeline: 1-800-522-7233 (SAFE)

Oklahoma Coalition Against Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault: www.ocavdsa.org

Oklahoma District Attorneys Council, for victim’s rights and services:
www.ok.gov/dac/

www.pandorasproject.org

Resurrectionafterrape.org


For Men:www.mencanstoprape.org

www.malesurvivor.org